Only in America

[nota: uma das coisas que eu mais odeio é quem chama isso aqui de América, afinal de contas Brasil e Trinidad & Tobago também são América. Mas como esse texto aqui é para sacanear os americanos, quem liga?]

Only In America…

Only in America - can a pizza get to your house faster than an
ambulance.

Only in America - are there handicap parking places in front of a
skating rink.

Only in America - do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to
the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy
people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in America - do people order double cheeseburgers, large
fries, and a diet coke.

Only in America - do banks leave both doors open and then chain
the pens to the counters.

Only in America - do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in
the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Only in America - do we use answering machines to screen calls
and then have call waiting so we won’t miss a call from someone
we didn’t want to talk to in the first place.

Only in America - do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns
in packages of eight.

Only in America - do we use the word ‘politics’ to describe the
process so well: ‘Poli’ in Latin meaning ‘many’ and ‘tics’
meaning ‘bloodsucking creatures.’

Only in America - do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille
lettering.

Only in America - the budgets for advertising non-essential
items, like soft drinks, exceed the budgets of many third-world
nations.

Only in America - do people buy domestic brand tires, because
they want to “buy American,” and install them on their imported
cars.

Only in America - are the least useful professions (professional
athletes, movie actors & entertainers) paid so disproportionally
much compared to people with normal jobs.